Assessment: i want to post a poem tomorrow–i don’t know what yet–so today i want to reflect on my poem-a-day project for National Poetry Month.
For the first time since i started this blog, i have blogged (almost) every day for a month. i only missed one day. It made the month go by fast. March was one of the slowest months of my life, but April went by fast.
It proved true something that i have heard all my life: that writing leads to more writing and even more writing. It’s just a question of beginning. Having a deadline every single day meant that, in my head, i was–or rather, am–constantly composing poetry and also constantly revising in my head.
In the interest of expediency, i did NOT draft by hand this month. i drafted right into the WordPress word processor. As a result, i do not much like the poems i wrote this month, and i do not feel close to them. And i feel very vulnerable, having posted on this blog poems that are barely thought-out when i usually don’t post anything until it is shined and polished and subjected to rigorous re-vision. So, i am looking forward to re-writing the poems i started this month, and the first thing i will do is copy them by hand from the screen to a piece of paper. i roll old-school like that.
i wish i had planned my posts out. Instead, i took it day by day: i posted at whatever time the poem was mostly formed, and then i let the poem rest. And then i woke up the next morning and thought, “Okay, what am i going to post today?” It was fun, but i could have planned things out better: Today is this topic, tomorrow is that topic, the day after that i’ll revise today’s topic.
i wondered what would have happened if i had given my poetry more focused attention. i have other hobbies–knitting, crochet, trying to learn the guitar, and in this shelter-in-place season, i have been trying to learn to sew. i am not talented at any of my hobbies; i have become hooked on yarn because the relaxing feeling of yarn running through my fingers is “cheaper than therapy”–as yarn-crafters say. i am pathetic at playing the guitar, but being able to make music of my own is extremely enjoyable. Sewing is actually practical, and i wish i had asked my mom for lessons years ago. Yet–there are times that i do wonder what would happen if i put the yarn away and focused more on my writing. But i am afraid to do it because i am afraid of facing the writer’s block.
i realized that i need to carry a little notebook in my purse again. i bought three little notebooks from a Papyrus store, and they filled up quickly with journal-like prose and to-do lists. i also composed my poems “autumnal” and “Lois Lane” in them–poems of mine that i like. and there are a bunch of half-formed ideas in them that made it into my blog this month. But ideas do strike me a lot when i am out doing errands and standing in line–my “Ode to the White Chocolate Mocha” started on the back of a sticky note while i was in line at Joann’s, for example.
So, it was a fun project to do, and i’m glad i did it, and a lot more poetry is going to come from it.